Take care.

I've listened carefully to every word of yours, I've looked into your eyes, I've watched your every move, and I can tell...I can tell that you were hurt as well, just as many times as I was. That you gave all of you to people who gave nothing back, and that you were left behind just when you least expected. And I know how you feel like a wreck, like nothing could matter anymore.
No matter how many times we laughed, I could still notice that sweet sadness in your eyes, and it made me wonder. I sometimes get scared of how much we're alike. I nearly wonder if any of this is real. Just like I wondered if there was any chance of seeing you again. I don't know many things about you, all of your scars, all of your happy times, but I would love to. 'Cause I could tell there were a lot. That unique way can't come from nowhere. I would love to know the real you, and I know I would love all of your sides. 'Cause you got me really impressed, and not many people could do that in my life. I don't know why I'm doing this. I just have a warm feeling inside since that day, and your face just doesn't want to vanish from my mind. It's crazy how can this happen...I guess it's fate, or who knows. I don't know where we're going. I don't know where and if it ends. Or in what way. However it might be, I'll ever be grateful for meeting you that day. I had a special feeling that day. And special people can't be forgotten so easily.

XO

Fuck "over".

Orice început are şi sfârşit. Şi orice sfârşit e un nou început. Wow, you don't say. Urăsc când totul se termină, e ca şi cum te chinui să faci un castel de nisip, şi te chinui, şi te tot chinui, uneori singur, alteori ajutat de persoanele pe care le iubeşti, şi fix când e totul perfect vine un val de ăla şi-ţi strică tot. Şi rămâi aşa, ca fraieru', şi te uiţi în gol, parcă refuzând să crezi că aşa ceva s-a întâmplat. Şi vorbesc de despărţiri pentru că, de ceva vreme încoace vin în serie. Feţe pe care le văd, caractere de care mă îndrăgostesc, prieteni pe care trebuie să îi las în urmă, şi tot felul de lucruri asemănătoare. Şi uite-aşa se duc nopţi şi mă trezesc că e ceasu' 4 iar şi eu nu dorm, şi uite-aşa se duce şi ultima ţigară din al nu-ştiu-câtelea pachet şi eu nu îmi dau seama, şi uite-aşa se duce şi ultimul strop din sticla pe care am jurat că n-o s-o deschid. Dar e inevitabil. So...let it pour. Cheers.

Erase me.

De ce e asa de greu pentru umanitatea asta sa dea dovada de putina empatie? Toti sunt niste egoisti superficiali care cer, cer si iar cer, iar cand vine vorba de dat se dau ei...la fund. Nu mai poti lega nimic in ziua de azi, nimic pe bune ma refer, ca de fatada sunt multe relatii. Dar mie nu imi place si nu mi-a placut niciodata sa simulez iubirea, si nu pot sa inteleg persoanele care o fac. Nimeni nu mai e multumit. Daca faci ca ei de 1000 de ori si o data, o singura data vrei sa faci si ca tine gata le sare tandara, uita de alea 1000 de ori si iti scot pe nas data aia cand voiai si tu saracu', sa fii putin autonom, sa-ti exprimi si tu idioata aia de parere, ca doar ai dreptul la ea. Cel putin teoretic ai. Toti se plang, toti au voie sa se planga, si iti reproseaza tie ca nu ai nimic. Daca stau dreapta in fata ta si nu spun nimic rau, nu inseamna ca in sufletul meu nu e nicio furtuna, nu inseamna ca atunci cand pun capul pe perna in zorii zilei nu plang pana adorm sau ca nu am momente cand pur si simplu as lua orice tren din gara sa scap de nebunia asta din oras. Nu-mi confunda tacerea cu naivitatea, si nici zambetul cu fericirea. Doar pentru ca nu vorbesc despre ce mi se intampla mie rau nu inseamna ca nu mi se intampla. Pentru astia care nu ma inghit da, e ceva maxim de tare sa stiu ca ei cred ca eu nu am nimic niciodata, dar sa ajungi sa te prefaci si in fata prietenilor buni, pentru ca daca te intreaba ce ai si le povestesti o intamplare iti spun ca te plangi? Pana mea, nu stiu unde o sa ajungem cu totii cu egoismul asta.
Vreau si eu pe cineva care sa ma inteleaga frate, oricat de complicata as fi. Sa ma asculte si nu sa aiba pretentia sa il/o ascult numai eu, si atunci cand ma asculta sa ma asculte si 5 minute si o zi intreaga daca e nevoie, fara sa strambe din nas sau sa imi scoata ochii ca "ma plang", ca nu ma plang si nu m-am plans vreodata, cel putin nu in maniera aia miloaga pe care o urasc. Vreau pe cineva care sa fie capace sa ofere cat ofer si eu, macar jumate din cate as putea eu sa ofer, pentru ca am multe de oferit in spatele ecranului asta de robot fara sentimente asa cum ma afisez de obicei. Si vreau ca persoana asta sa nu profite de bunatatea mea, asa cum au facut toti cand au observat cate am de oferit. Nu cred ca cer prea mult. Sau cer? Haha, acum par si eu o egoista superficiala care cere, dar nu e asa, pentru ca eu ofer dublu fata de cat primesc, asta e diferenta. Si uneori, sa faci diferenta e bine. In viziunea cui ii pasa. Mai degraba as ajunge sa ma blazez decat sa ma distrug.

Yellow diamonds in the light...

"It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important - that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you. And when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back - so that you could have the good."

Cosmic, astral, mitologic, stelar.

I already got used to this silly state of mind. Maybe "silly" is not the right word, but who gives a fuck anyway. I've been trippin' all day. Lately, that became some kind of routine, you know like, when someone asks you how was your day and you answer "Oh, you know, got outta bed, ate my cereals, tripped all day long." Just routine, like everybody's doin' it. Like everybody's forgotten the times when they were completely happy, without any mixed feelings or second thoughts...just happy.
But my fractal heart and my cruel mind almost got into a fight again. So I'm mentally leaving Earth. I start with Mercury to grab some warmth, I swing on Saturn's rings, I kiss Neptun's vivid lips, and end up on Pluto to regain my coolness 'cause, when I'm done travelling, they don't have to know I had a bit of warmth, 'cause I don't want them to try stepping over me. They'll do nothing but get hurt, and I don't wanna do this anymore, hurting them just to save myself. But I miss the arms of the Universe. I miss the way I lose myself among its psychedelic threads, on my pursuit of happiness. But it's a part of me, like an oversized puzzle whose pieces try to find their way but they don't, so they try it like thousand times with thousand combinations and not surprisingly, they get no result. Yet. And that's why I keep my head high. Up to the Sky. Up to the Universe. Up to the happiness.